Baby now less like disabled kitten, more like badly programmed robot

OMG you guys my baby did this awesome thing the other day. I am totally going to tell you about it, and you can’t stop me because this is my blog.

Your first reaction will be to make a barf-face. At least, it should be. I hate it when people tell cute stories about some amazing thing their baby did. Ooh, the baby did a solid poo. Aah, the baby is snoring. Wooooh, the baby threw up then ate its vomit. So I will tell you a similarly banal thing, which you should by rights, then barf upon.

He’s learnt how to do peek-a-boo (a Chinese version anyway, called dou-mao-mao).

BARF.

Okay, but here’s why it is awesome. He’s copied an actual social game, with rules, timing, and reaction to verbal prompts, and then acted as if he was telling a hilarious joke. This means his cognitive heights are now about the level of a text programme designed by an eleven-year old IT student who wasn’t paying too much attention during a class on the Turing Test.

Previously, the Chindian’s interactions were about on a par with a kitten with severe developmental delays. I mean, dude can’t actually sit. Eight months old and his lazy ass CAN’T FREAKIN’ SIT. But now I am totally fist-pumping, because he has become more comparable to an artificial intelligence experiment with severe developmental delays.

Which means he might grow up into a proper robot.

Ergo, awesome.

What shall I programme him with next?

2 comments

  1. Chris Fung

    Intergalactic Planetary Chindian perhaps? Our robot is now very fast on all threes (she only does the second knee on slippery surfaces) and looking to establish world domination as soon as she gets up on two legs. Enjoy the parenthood TM.

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